Doing the things that you don't really want to do

Recently I discovered a quality of myself that can be damaging and detrimental. When I don't really want to do something but it is necessary, I realized I just usually shut off and can not finish the task that I need to do. This is bad when I need to study or when I have a huge amount of homework due. I can not seem to get over the daunting look of these tasks. This can also get in the way with my personal relationship with Christ when I don't get the things I need to get done in time.

Then I realized that also, sometimes it is better to do these things that you don't want to do, rather than trying not to do the things that I really want to do. If there was only a way to compromise. I believe I found a way, it is better when I look for the rewards versus the work. Like right now, I don't really enjoy writing but I know it helps my thought process and writing what I am going through at the time helps me to get through it. As well as it spurs on my relationship with Christ when I surrender time for him. I am realizing that if I even read as much as 10 minutes and pray and have a very short quiet time, it is tremendously better than having a 30 minute to 1 hour one every few days. Right now I think I am learning to just surrender everything, my time, my priorities, my energy for Christ. And he doesn't punish me for this. Also, I stay out of trouble and remain closer to him the more I give and let go.

I know this may sound trivial, but seriously, surrendering everything and trusting Him is what can finally move past this spiritual wall I have felt that I have been up against for a while. The wall I am referring to is me not really feeling like I have been growing very much. Even though I have been doing quiet times and things, I have not felt like Jesus has moved closer in my heart. This is why I must give up things and time for Him. I am really excited about this and I don't really know what that is going to look like, I just feel like I need to recognize that Jesus LIVES in me and in the people around me and just let Him be more prevalent and influential in my life.