consistency

So I don't know what it is but I can't seem to stay consistent in reading scripture it seems for very long. I have been really stressed about school and have been putting aside my Bible for the most part due to school work and really the other things I do to reduce stress. What I mean is that I do other things like what T.V. or whatever to reduce the stress and get my mind of it, but I haven't gone to Christ all that much.

But I feel like this is new to me because actually I usually do go to Christ when I am in need. It worries me that I have not done this much recently. It could be that I just am running from the Lord right now and trying to do things on my own. It could be that I am not trusting in Him. It could also be that I am being tested. But I believe it is all due to the condition of the heart.

What is it that I feel is more important than Christ? Why do I constantly look for other things to put in my life? Do I not believe that all I need is Christ? I know this well, but my life and my habits do not show it very well. I must change, but I can not do it alone.

I need Him do take over my mind and to completely consume my heart in this. I feel like I am not close to God right now and it is stupid because I know that I have let dumb things like school get in the way. I need to focus on Him and let Him take of it.

For right now, I am not sure exactly how to fix this, but one thing I will be doing is to intentionally pursue Him and his love. This is where it starts. My heart needs to change.

Take my Heart and renew it Lord. Consume me, and help me to fully accept your grace. Help me to look at your love as a gift and to not take it lightly. I am nothing, you are everything.