Suffering

So I have been thinking a lot lately about the things people have been talking about all this suffering and how we grow so much in our suffering. First, let me say that I agree that we can grow very much in our relationship with Christ in our suffering. The times I have grown the most have been in times when I was going through the hardest of times in my life. I am not gonna disagree that suffering can spur a person on towards a new outlook and greater love for Jesus.

However I worry when people say that they ask for suffering in their lives. I think that this can be considered very ungrateful. If things are going good for us, it is only because God is blessing us in our lives at that time. He is the one that is giving us all the blessings and good things in our lives. To ask for suffering is almost saying to God that I don't want your gifts of blessings and good tidings in my life. I just don't think God wants us to completely forget and put to waste what God is blessing in our life.

That being said, when things are going good, we should be reflecting on God and praising and thanking Him and constantly asking us for challenges and things for us to further His kingdom here on Earth. When things are going for us in our lives it is a gift of God. In the good times we should turn to Him and continue to love and fear Him. Our hearts should be more and more thankful for what he has blessed us with. We should not only turn to Christ when we think we really need Him. Because the truth is we always need Him. Without Him we are nothing.

Instead of asking for suffering in our lives, I think we should ask God how to take more risks and to step outside of our comfort zones. Suffering is inevitable, we don't need to ask for it. I think that asking for suffering can be a very unselfish thing if the reason is to know Christ better and to love him more deeply. If we think things are going to well for us, we need to take Christ to places we don't think about and put ourselves into more situations which push us into uncomfortable situations.

11  Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the 
majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. 
Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all.

1 Chronicles 29:11

Contemplations

My mind has been thinking more about Jesus lately and I have been contemplating more about how exactly God wants to use me.

I feel like there are many times where my heart just isn't in the right place and yet I still have the feeling like I want to do more or that I could apply more of my daily life into sacrificing it to the kingdom. Yet, I still spend too much money on eating out and spend too much time watching television or whatnot.

So, why would God give me more responsibilities if I can even manage the smaller ones now?

Lately I have been wondering if there is a more beneficial way to use my degree in engineering for Him after I graduate. For instance, helping to build wells in Africa or under-developed/starving countries. And yet I look at my Oak Hills High School ministry and see all the opportunities for growth there. Not to mention all the opportunities in the numerous interactions I have with people everyday. This world is broken-its not just Africa that needs some of Christ's love- its everyone.

In short, I believe if my heart is in the right place, God will reward that no matter what I do. Of course that's only if I am doing it for Him. The question is this- in whatever I do, am I using the gifts God gave me to glorify Him the best that I can?

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, - Colossians 3:23

Lark ascending

i feel like spiritual life should be something more



And I’m trying to make you sing
From inside where you believe
Like it’s something that you need
Like it means everything

And I’m trying to make you feel that
This is for real, that life is happening
That it means everything
I’m just trying to make you sing

This song really just speaks to me. Cause I feel like many times we take for granted the time God has given us here on Earth. We forget that everything we do everything we say should come from our purpose through Christ. Life is happening yet I feel like I am too often okay with just letting it pass by. Sometimes I just want to forget everything and do nothing but be in God's presence, to worship, to sing. I don't want life to just go on, I want to experience God, to experience His love.

Before this track on the CD, there is an interview with David Crowder and the interviewer ask David Crowder he is "Lark". As in the "Lark" is the one who is trying to lead us into worship, praise, righteousness. And he says he doesn't know he doesn't always feel that way. I feel like I am the same way. I want others to be spurred on in righteousness to learn more about God to experience Him. But in reality I am not always able or even willing to help because well I am not perfect. In reality there is only one "Lark" and I believe that is Jesus Christ

He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe. -Ephesians 4:10

God Convo's

A friend of mine were talking the other day about well God, hence the title of this post. But they mentioned to me that even though they have many Christian friends, they don't really talk about spiritual things that often. It got me thinking, and I realized that in my own life this is true too. Conversations about God don't happen too often. I have realized that most of my conversations of my spiritual life usually don't come up outside of bible studies or when stuff is pretty crappy and I need some spiritual guidance and support.

Why is it that, if we are God's children and everything we do should give glory to God, that we do not talk about Him often? Should He not consume our lives? Have we become less confident in our identity in Christ? Or maybe on a more positive note: maybe we have become so intimate in Christ that we need to be in a more intimate setting such as a bible study to really explain what God is doing. But if that is the case why do we get sarcastic all the time and rip on each other for little things. Those things don't bring the kingdom of God any closer. (Notice: I say “we” because I am definitely guilty of these things.)

I wish this would change, I realize it will not happen at once. But I want me and the people around me to be able and want to speak freely of their spiritual lives.

Something more

Do ever feel like you are stuck in the mediocrity of your spirituality? I do. I feel like sometimes quiet times, and even just prayer is just not enough. Sometimes I crave for something more, to feel the presence of God, to hear Him. But then other times I just wish I had more of a craving of all of these things.

I just feel like there is supposed to be more to my relationship with Christ then quiet times and bible studies. I wish I felt the Holy Spirit more often and could discern exactly what it is that the Lord wants me to do. I want to be in tune with the Holy Spirit. To want the same things that God wants for me. To love all of His people. At the same time I want to understand more about the Holy Spirit and what it means, its role and how it works. Why is that sometimes I feel as if Christ is distant and I can not feel his presence or hear Him, but other times I am overwhelmed by his grace and love.

There are definitely times when I do feel His presence and hear his voice, but right now I can not hear him. I can not see Him clearly. I want to truly feel Him more often. I do not like being distant. It makes me feel like I am most likely doing something wrong. The Bible says “those who seek me shall find me”. I am seeking Him, but maybe I am just impatient, maybe I am sub-consciously ignoring His words because I don't like what He is telling me. One thing is for sure I need to figure that one out for sure. Maybe it is because I have just grown numb because of all the fluff in my life that is not necessarily leading me to the truth. Maybe I need a challenge, maybe He is charging me serve Him.

Also, why is sometimes I am okay with mediocrity in my spirituality? This is not okay either for the devil works in our idleness and I have definitely witnessed that in the past and do not want that to repeat.

Lord, forgive my fickleness. Allow me to truly want more of You in my life. Holy Spirit, work through me, guide me. Show me how to learn, show me how to teach, show me how to discern, show me how to Love. I know I want more of you in my life, I know I need more of You in my life. I may not always want that, but right now I am ready for You. I am ready for me to be less and You to be more. I want people to see You through me. I truly do love You, Lord. Even though I may not act or even speak like I do, but I do I really really do.