Just do it

I have realized that I too often use 2 excuses why I don't do something to serve God.

1. I don't know what it is exactly God wants me to do

2. I can not be sure my heart is in the right place to do whatever it is.

But I have come to realize that these are ONLY excuses and nothing else. They are not legitimate in most cases if at all. I'll tackle the first one first because I think many people find it hard to hear God's voice and hence his plan or purpose for our lives. Most of the time when I think about this, it is usually in regard to my future or career plans and what I can do in long term to serve God. But not all of us are called to be preachers or missionaries. Some of you have heard the saying, "Be a missionary in disguise as a teacher, if you want to teach." Obviously you would fill in "teacher" with your occupation. Anyways I have heard this many times and it makes very good sense. But also we do know what God wants us to do:
1. Love God, love others

2. Tell others about hope in Jesus Christ.

3. Pray for each other.

4. Disciple others to grow further in their faith.

5. And probably read your Bible I think this is important and may go with "Love God" but anyways.


We may not know whether or not God is telling us to take that job promotion or change our major or move somewhere else to do mission work. But right now, we can be doing all these things and trust that God will open up our minds for even more clarity in his plan for us. If I constantly keep worrying about whether or not God wants me to do something, most likely I am not focusing on the other things and am blinded by what God wants me to do right now.

The other day I was walking to class and I saw this lady come out of Walgreens and she was crying as she entered her car. I did not know this person or why she was crying, but I continued to walk to class. It wasn't until I got to class that I realized what I could do for her. Simply pray for her. So I did, see I was probably too distracted at first with my own schedule and my own list of things to do, that I did not hear the Spirit tell me to pray for her. I will most likely not see her again, and if I did I would not know she was the same person, but God is big and maybe just maybe my prayer can be used for the kingdom. You see that day, maybe my purpose in that instance was to be there to see her and pray for her, I'll never know but God tells us to intercede for others so it is most likely good that I prayed.


The second excuse is another one that I personally use too often. But after thinking about this I learned that our hearts will hardly ever be the right place completely. We are all human and as such our motives will be faulty and wrongly placed.

Also, if we still keep being obedient to God's work serve Him regardless of our motives then I believe God will still use it for his kingdom. In addition to your work still being used for the kingdom, God will reward you for your service and eventually he can work in your heart and make it more pure. I firmly believe God can change our hearts and believe he has already. So in other words when it comes to serving God, we need to just do it. Our hearts don't have to be in the right place necessarily to bring the kingdom of God.

God's Love

Today God reminded me how much he loves me. It wasn't from anything anybody told me today or even something from prayer. God just moved into my heart.

I was sitting there in church thinking about how I could reach out to my friends that do not yet know of God's love. This was spurred by the many confessions of Joe Boyd had for the church. It just really got to me that as a church we don't go out of our way often to reach others and touch their lives with the love of Christ. Yes you can say by loving them we earn the right to be heard, to eventually speak to them about Jesus. But I feel like this is just used too much as an excuse to not be bold enough with proclaiming the gospel by to many people including myself. But this is not really why I am writing this post, this is just the means of how I was touched by the Spirit of the living God today.

So I was thinking about how I would improve my boldness and what I could say to the people in my life that don't yet know about Jesus. And God just very plainly said "You know how much I love you and love them, so just tell them. " I then tried to wrap my very diminutive mind around the love of God and I just could not handle it.

My mouth got dry, my heart raced and I just felt this overwhelming embrace. And then I started to weep. Right there, during the middle of service. In fact, right now as I am reflecting on this, I can barely hold back the tears.

Now, if you know me you know I don't cry often at all. I can probably count on my hand the number of times I have cried. But I had no control over this.

This was an important thing that happened to me today. Simply because I have felt for a long time that I have been seeking the Lord and have not really heard Him or felt Him really move into my heart. In no way am I blaming Him for this. I most likely have not been looking in the right places or listening to Him. I try to learn more of Jesus and read about Him but nothing comes close to feeling simple, yet complex, immeasurable way that our God loves us.

If I could only put into words.

Holy Spirit

So lately I've been wondering what exactly is the Holy Spirit and what does it mean for me. There are plenty of verses that have "Holy Spirit" in them but here are a few:

John 14:25-27 (New International Version) 25"All this I have spoken while still with you. 26But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 16:12-16 (New International Version)
"I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. 13But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. 14He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you. 15All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you.

16"In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me."

Hebrews 10:14-16 (New International Version)
because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. 15The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First he says: 16"This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds."

The Holy Spirit is how we continue to give God glory. Yet He is still God. I find it interesting that it says "He" in these verses and many more. It is important to note that the Holy Spirit is still God just as Jesus is God. They are different expressions. The Holy Spirit isnt just a thing, or a force. He is a person just like Jesus or the Father. This has always been difficult for me to understand but I think what all this means is that God is a team but is still one.
The Holy Spirit brings us to glorify Jesus and makes Him known to us-
Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus be cursed," and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit. -Corinthians 12:3

And Jesus brings glorify the Father-
Then Jesus cried out, "When a man believes in me, he does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me. -John 12:44

And by looking at these two verses you see can see something else. The Father sends the Holy Spirit and Jesus on his behalf. You see it is a perfect relationship. They each are God, Jesus said all authority was given to him. But as I said before the Holy Spirit is not just a thing. He loves us. He prays for us. He speaks to us. He has a will (just like God, because well he is God). And the scriptures refer to the Spirit as a person.

This is really cool to me because I can ask the Holy spirit for things and he will answer just as I would pray to God. Another thing to remember is that the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit is still ONE. We have one God in three forms that serve 3 functions. God has one will and one plan. He sends the Spirit to give us understanding and to reveal God to us. I think I need to be more in tune with the Holy Spirit if I want to see God better and to hear him. Also, I believe it is important to have a relationship with the Holy Spirit, just like we have a relationship with Jesus and the Father. But at the same time, we already do, because they are one in the same. Tough to grasp isn't it? Anyways, I am still learning what this means but I can definitely tell that the Holy Spirit is changing me and revealing things to me that I haven't seen before.

Welp, more on this later... to much for one post.

Seeing Jesus in many dimensions

So I am constantly reminded of my spiritual immaturity and that have still have a lot of "unplowed ground". This is only one example, I am going through Matthew right now and it has been great. Here is one thing that I believe God has revealed to me.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13-14 (NIV)

Previously, I have seen this passage and only seen Jesus as saying this in a narrow, almost aloof way as if "Its just too bad" but this is far from what I think Jesus is feeling while saying this. Yes, I know that Jesus is very frank sometimes and that he wants to get the truth out there so people are aware of the harsh realities of our destination. I also believe that Jesus has come not for just peace and rescue but to change the world

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." Matthew 10:34 (NIV)

You can take what you think about this verse, but I feel like its pretty straight-forward. Jesus came and people had to make a decision. Those that choose him would not be condemned. "Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned." Mark 16:16 (NIV) I think these verses go hand-in-hand. This is why I believe it is important to see Jesus and God in more than one "dimension". I feel like Jesus is bringing a sharp path and is very clear about what he demands.

The reason I am writing this is because I feel like I fail to remember sometimes that Jesus' heart aches for us to chose Him and follow Him. He anxiously is waiting to accept him and enter a relationship with him. It hurts him that only a few will choose his path. As he says that "few will enter" it cuts him deep. He desires that we would want to spend time with Him. This relates to the whole "bride-groom" image of Jesus I believe. But I also think it is just the character of God. Jesus came to Earth for one purpose. He loved us enough to die for us and to take on all our sins past, present, future. He did this so we would have the ability to enter His kingdom and to enter into His fellowship. We have been given the privilege to work for His kingdom and glory.

So as I read scripture I will try and do a better job of remembering this. Jesus is both bringing a sword but also a message of the greatest Love story ever. Ever.

Meek and Bold

Meek:
1. enduring injury with patience and without resentment(mild)
2. deficient in spirit and courage (submissive)

from Webster's online Dictionary, http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary
Bold:
1. without fear
2. confident, assured
3. adventurous, free


from Webster's online Dictionary, http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary

God is teaching me how these two are related and not opposites.

To me, I have in the past struggled with being meek. I seem to get defensive fairly easy when people take me out of context or try and manipulate what I say about my faith. Also I get very angry when people think that I should be perfect because I am a Christian. Meek seems hard for a Christian, I mean how am I supposed to go after people for Christ and still be meek. Doesn't it seem to you that meek can sound as if we give up? If we are supposed to be submissive, then how are we supposed to also be bold.
"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." Matthew 5:5 (NIV)
"Boldly and without hindrance he preached the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ." Acts 28:31 (NIV)

But I don't think this means that we should let things get in the way. It just means that let God worry about things and do not fear others.

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31 (NIV)

I think God is saying through Paul and Jesus that we should submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit and submit to the will of the LORD. But we should also take courage in the fact that we have nothing to fear.

In the past I think I might have had the wrong image of "bold" and "meek". Being bold isn't being forceful and without tact. Being meek is not having a submissive look on other people's views. We can not be silent, Jesus is pretty clear on that I think. NO, now I see being bold just literally as the dictionary says. Without fear. Meek I see differently now too. I think he is saying that we must be submissive to the spirit. Submissive. Let God do what he wants in your life, after all he made us. I think he would know what is best.

Another note, as I read through Kolia's email he pointed out,"When we are reviled, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure; when we are slandered, we try to conciliate (console)." Taken from 1 Cor. 4:9-13. This was very helpful for me. This relates to being meek very well. It also relates to what I have been thinking a lot about lately with enemies. People can do what they want to us, it doesn't change the fact that we are called to love them. We need to look at our enemies in this way.

Also, it is important to remember that the only reason we have enemies is because the Devil is afraid of us and is trying his best to stop what God is doing through us in different ministries. I have always taken this as encouragement because it reminds me what I am doing is for the right side and what I am doing is changing things. Don't you enjoy making it harder for the Devil to tear you down?

scary prayer

I am going to ask for you all to pray for me as I go through this, because today I prayed a scary prayer. In my experience, God generally grants people the opportunity to learn whatever it is that they ask God to teach them, so I would love your support in this prayer I made today. Anyways- So I try to let the spirit speak through me in prayer, and this morning as I was spending time with the lord I came across this passage :

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." Matthew 5:43-45.

Then I thought, "Who are my enemies? Do I have any real enemies besides Satan making it hard for me to do ministry or other things?" I am not really sure that I do. We all have people that get on our nerves from time to time. I think this is normal, due to personality differences we will not be fully able to get along with everybody. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying you can not love everyone. I just think there are always people in our lives that we bang heads against, not so literally sometimes and other times quite literally. And other times, opposites do attract like that dumb sitcom "Dharma and Greg". Or my co-leader and one of her good friends who disagree on much of everything other than the fact they believe in Jesus.

What I am trying to say (without rambling) is that there are people who we don't get along with, but these people are different from enemies. Webster defines enemy like this:
1. One that is antagonistic to another; especially one seeking to injure, overthrow, or confound an opponent
2. Something harmful or deadly
I guess the point could be made that anyone you don't get along with can be considered "antagonistic". But I don't think that is all what Jesus is saying here. He says "pray for those who persecute you". I don't know of anybody right now that is persecuting me. Well as I am writing this I just had another thought- since we all belong to the body of Christ, isn't anyone that persecutes a fellow believer or the church as a whole an enemy? Yea, I know this. But still I guess when I was in prayer and while I read this passage this morning I was pondering over personal enemies. In high school there were many times people made fun of Christians and would make it a point to give believers a hard time. This was done far too easily as questions such as "If there is a God why would he allow [insert catastrophe here] happen?" And these questions were all to given to kids who believed in Christ but were still immature spiritually, they were only kids. I remember a time when we were in some computer class and one of guys thought it would be funny to make fun of the teacher, who was openly a Christian, by playing Christian music via Internet radio and mocking it.

Additionally, I had a manager for a long time who was very atheistic. (Yes atheistic, because a true atheist is a scholar in religion and has studied most all of them and has come to the conclusion through research that there can not be a God. This was not his case) He would make remarks, although always in a light-hearted way, to the me and others who were Christians and would always try and prove atheism was correct. Well, it turned out that this actually helped me and others as we questioned our faith and put research into it. Anyways, I did not really take it that harshly and would always end the conversation in "well it doesn't change the fact that I am praying that God will reveal himself to you and that you will see what it is to have a relationship with him." He would always laugh it off, but I meant that. I did pray for him, consistently. And you know what, he is now involved in a church with one of the other guys I used to work with and told me he is a believer now. Wow, I think I am getting a little off track... Anyways, I don't really know that right now I have enemies.

So you are probably wondering why the title of this post is "scary prayer" by now. Well I could not think of any personal enemies who are persecuting me. And I couldn't think of anybody besides Satan holding me back from my ministry. So I prayed-you ready for this?-that God will put enemies in my front, so that I can pray for them and so I could be challenged. I feel that maybe I have become to comfortable in my faith and I have taken it too casually. I am not looking at my faith in Christ as something that is urgent which is what I should do. I have almost become numb to any hindrances in growing in my faith.

Currently, the only thing holding me back in my faith is me. I do this by not giving him enough time or submitting everything in my life to him. I am trying to learn what it means to offer everything I do as an act of worship to God. Such as my work, or exercising or driving. Anyways, I am personally responsible for not letting God work in my life. Which is why I prayed for "enemies" to come into my life. I want to relearn what it is like to have to rely on God. Do you ever feel like you are not completely relying on God in everything? For instance- God is the reason I made it to work today. He gave me this day, am I truly grateful, are we truly grateful? Or do we just take for granted the things he puts in our lives?


(By the way, Kudos if you actually read this post in its entirety. Sorry for its monstrousity...)

Reading scripture (convicted)

Recently, I have realized how I read the Bible. Reading the Bible is about the only book I read besides textbooks, so I do enjoy diving into scripture. When it comes to reading it in context, I think it is best to read the bible in the context of a person who is loved by God unconditionally and eternally. But lately I realized that I don't really do this.

Most of the time whenever I read a passage, from either the old testament or the new testament, I always place myself in the spot of the character who screwed up or who is wrong in their actions. When there is no bad guy in the passage I usually constantly try and search for something that I am doing wrong and pray about it and try to come up with ways to change it. I am just realized that this is not great for my relationship with Christ. It is important to look at scripture as a testament to God's love for us. When one reads the Bible, they should look at the characteristics of God that the passage demonstrates. In response to this we should fall more in love with Christ and increase in our relationship this way.

Alot of times I feel like I read scripture and it just shows me how much I am screwing up or what I unplowed ground that I need to break up. This is not always bad. Being convicted from scripture is good and it directs us back on the path toward a life that is headed for righteousness. But in order for my relationship with Christ to truly grow it is necessary for me to also see how great God is and look at his grace and accept his love and love him all the more as I get to know him.